“HOPE IS FOREVER”

by Peter Garich

 

When I turned on the TV, to Fox news, I had a hard time believing what I saw and then heard. Being interviewed was this cute little grandmother type—with almost white hair and standing about 5 feet tall. As I watched, I thought to myself that there was something quite strange about this scene. What was so out of character for this warm, little grandmother type was that she was in combat fatigues. That’s right, she was in full battle-ready gear—with her M16 weapon in hand—ready to ship out to Iraq! The story went on to explain that this 56-year-old grandmother of three had been recalled into the

Army at her discharged rank of Captain, a rank she’d achieved during the Vietnam war. When she had completed her required service commitment (or so she thought), she left the service and began a whole new life. Even though she had fulfilled her required service agreement (both active and inactive), and had left the military, she had missed the fine print of her service contract. What they seemed to be saying about her unbelievable situation was that she had not formally resigned her commission and was therefore subject to being recalled during a time of war. And that is exactly what happened. Because the United States is at war she had been recalled and in the next three days was heading to the combat zone in Iraq. Unfortunately, this grandmother’s story was not

that uncommon. In fact, the story went on to say that there were many retired service people who were experiencing the same fate. As I watched, my heart went out to all these folks, and especially the grandmother. I wondered what was going through their minds as they faced such a radical, life-changing event. One other man they interviewed was a Christian and, although he was extremely and visibly shaken, he and his family said that their only hope was to place their future in the hands of the Lord and pray. His words, though quite reassuring concerning his faith, don’t quite reflect what I so often hear from many of those I counsel. If we went behind the cameras, and into the life of this family, I imagine they, too, would probably express many of the same questions that any of us would ask if we had our rug of security pulled out from underneath our feet. When our lives suddenly and without warning take such radical turns, it’s quite normal for us to ask all the usual questions. Sometimes we question our faith, or the love and sovereignty of our Lord. Thoughts such as, “Does God know how scared I really am right now, and if He does know, does He even care?” begin bombarding our fearful minds. Sometimes we

are plagued so severely by our doubts that we “feel” like giving up. At this point our focus on God seems to shift. We become consumed more with the circumstances we face than with the secure belief that our God is still completely and intimately sovereign. Or that His grace will take us through everything we face. Our anxious feelings and fear-riddled thoughts take over, and we lose sight of the FACT that God is still our loving Father and in absolute control. This, my dear friends, is the hope we want to remember as we begin a New Year. For these truths are the ones that will quell all of our fears no matter how life challenging. During times of such upheaval and confusion, many of the Faithful begin to ask, “What in the world is God doing in my life?” And without that

for which we yearn—an immediate answer—our spiritual bearings give way and a sense of hopelessness sets in. As one of the Faithful who has personally experienced his share of unwanted changes, I pray that the following thoughts can offer some helpful insights to build your hope. One of the most important insights I can pass along is that during these times of distress we MUST focus on God’s Word, as well as our relationship with the One who spoke it. Because of the reassuring truth that God sincerely loves us and has only His best in store for us, we can, and should, take a deep breath . . . and then ask for His grace to believe it. The Scriptures, and not our circumstances or emotions, will be the only source of truth we need during troubled times. For instance, God’s word assures us

that, “‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future . . . you will seek Me [during times of troubles] and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you’ declares the Lord.” (Jer. 29:11–14) To seek the Lord above all else during days of darkness is the hopeful admonition of this passage.  Here the Lord tells us that His plan for us during those times is always for our good. This is the hope we need—so that our fluctuating emotions or changing circumstances don’t rule our lives. When the question of, “Why am I going through these trials?” begins to haunt us, and it might, we again must go back to God’s Word. For it’s there, and only there, that we find His abundant means of strength and wisdom to answer such daunting concerns. Concerning the “why” His Word is again quite clear. One of the reasons we go through these trials, He tells us, is that He is testing our hearts to strengthen our faith. This has been true for all the people of God. When the Israelites entered the promise land the Lord told them that He was leaving some “giants” in the land so that they would continue to depend totally on Him. Complete dependence on God is as relevant and important to us today as it was for the Jews 4,000 years ago. It’s clear to God that, much like the Israelites, we can fall prey to living our lives in our own strength. And when left to our own device there’s little resistance to self-dependence. Even after times of tribulation it doesn’t take long before we are back to our “self-sufficient” old ways again. When we are facing the trial we are quick to call out to the Lord, but as soon as the crisis passes we fall back to doing things without thinking much about just how drastically we NEED Him. We think we can handle life’s ups and downs on our own with little, or no, help from above. This is a recurring problem for us all. C. S. Lewis told the story of a thoughtful and loving

young mother who found her precious little boy rolling and playing in the mud puddle outside their flat. Immediately she grabbed her darling, but utterly dirty, young son from the mud, took him in the house and proceeded to scrub him in the tub until his chubby little cheeks were pink and quite smashingly clean. But then, now being squeaky clean and free from his mum’s watchful eyes, the single-minded and mischievous young lad ran down the stairs, back out to his glorious mud puddle—and jumped right back in, rolling around until his new-found cleanliness was even dirtier than before. Lewis’ story graphically points out just how much we are like that mother and her young child. The

same as the loving mother, the Lord finds us wallowing in the filth of our sinful and destructive lives, but then, again like her, He plucks us out and washes our sins away until we are white as snow. And as for us, much like the thoughtless lad, as soon as we are “free” from the watchful eyes of our Father (so we think), we take off running back to the utter filth of our old ways. Disregarding the passion and price of our Savior, we foolishly believe it’s a great place to be—back the way we were when He found us.

Fortunately for us the Lord will not allow this to go on for too long. Just when we think we’re doing quite well (on our own), He brings in a “giant” or two (some trial or tribulation) and again we’re sliding down the hall on our knees. And as we head for our proverbial bed, we desperately cry out, “Lord, please help me, NOW.” As Ronald Reagan once put it, “There you go again.” We just don’t seem to get it. Here then again is the lesson, and thank God He intends for us to learn it: there is never-ever (no, nada) a time when we can do things on our own, period! We always need God because “apart from Me,” He says; we “can do NOTHING!” There are millions of people in the world who don’t know the Lord and are left to do it all by themselves. For them there is no “James the Giant Killer” and they are doomed to their own futile devices. But for us, our hope is in the Lord and His Word, which endures forever. Praise God, He won’t let us wallow in the mud forever. This New Year let’s all start again by finding our hope in God, His Word, and His unyielding faithfulness. And steadfastly continue in Him by keeping our eyes, minds, spirits and hearts fixed on our Savior’s grace, for ALL things are possible with Him—even His holiness, which we all desire. 

 

In His Service,

Peter Garich-

 ”Back Together Again”

 

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again.”

Or could they?

 

This timeless English nursery rhyme is sometimes used to characterize the collective belief that once someone is broken—emotionally and psychologically—they can’t be put back together again. In other words, when a person has experienced, say, a childhood of abuse or some kind of catastrophic relational event that deeply traumatizes, their lives are irreparably scarred forever. If you believe the saying, “You can bruise and break the body and it will mend, but when one’s heart is broken that person’s life will never be whole again,” then in most cases those who live with the pain, fear and anger of a devastating past will be tormented their entire lives. For them, the mental and emotional mindset of being victimized overshadows who they are and what they do in an all-encompassing way. Almost every one of these people has one thing in common: their traumatized past determines a future full of pain, hurt and brokenness. In terms of interpersonal relationships, most of them go through life believing they can’t have relationships based on anything other than pain and manipulation. Because it’s almost impossible for them to get what they truly desire—loving relationships where they are safe, accepted and secure—unless they continue in the destructive patterns with which they have grown up. In the case of these people it’s believed, as with Humpty Dumpty, that they, too, will never be put back together again. But is it inevitable that these dear men and women, who have suffered so much already, are doomed to the fate of never finding a King who can save them from their wretched pasts and destructive patterns? These are important questions. They are questions each of us should consider because we all know someone who is struggling with fear, anger and mistrust—all attitudes that come with the pain from these horrific pasts. Over the last month I received several e-mails asking me what happened to the couple I wrote about in the last newsletter. But more specifically, and with great empathy, you wanted to know how the wife is doing? Let me thank you for your e-mails, and please keep them coming. Send any questions or

comments to: petergarich@cox.net

  The couple’s marriage, as with most who come for counseling, is a work in progress. I can say that they have made significant strides, but there is much left to accomplish. As you already know, people who go through such overwhelming problems do not solve them overnight. They need our prayers as they continue to trust God and focus on the love of Christ that is healing them. I’m pleased to say that the gospel is saving and comforting them—the same as it does in the lives of all of us. I’m hopeful that God can put her life and their marriage “back together again.” Most importantly they are still together, working on their marriage and they both love God.

   There are some important questions we have been working on during their counseling. Because her past has caused so much grief, we have sought to understand not only what scripture says about dealing with one’s past, but also how God uses it for our good and His glory. There is an assumption that when bad things happen to a person then those experiences will always cause a life of hopelessness. As Christians this could not be further from the truth. Even though these kinds of experiences are traumatic, it’s nevertheless true that God takes everything we have ever gone through and works it all out for good. This doesn’t mean that God causes us to forget our pasts, but He does begin to reshape our hearts so we interpret such events from a godly perspective. As God works within us He redeems the evil—all those unbearable experiences of our pasts—causing us to see them as part of a greater plan for our growth and maturity in Christ. Scripture teaches us that, “God causes all things to work together for the good, for those who love Him and are called to be conformed to the image of His Son.” (Rms. 8:28) Humanly speaking this verse is hard to swallow. When a person has gone through the kind of abuse that no one would wish on an enemy it’s hard to see how God could make it into something good. This was one of our great challenges in counseling. In a kind of stark reality check our counseling dealt honestly with this difficult fact, while at the same time looking for the hope that God brings in all suffering.

A RADICAL NEW PERSPECTIVE:

We change how we understand and live with our past—emotionally, attitudinally and practically—by looking at it from God’s perspective. By seeing our lives—our whole lives—from the point of view of Scripture, our pasts will affect us much differently. You could say the perspectives and purposes of God are 180 degrees different than ours. God’s purposes for allowing us to experience such deep suffering are always perfect, merciful and gracious—causing us to become more like Jesus. Notice I used the words “merciful and gracious” to describe God’s purposes. They would be neither if He let us go on believing something contrary to His truth. If we continue to believe that pain is bad and bad is hopeless then we will never understand what His purposes are for us. From His perspective our bad experiences are good because they are redeeming in nature. What makes something that’s bad into something that’s good—even when it’s as severe as abuse—is what God uses it for and how we are changed by it. The Apostle Paul speaks of the eternal mindset we must foster in the face of all suffering if we are to have the mind of God. He tells us “All this [suffering] is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause our thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary sufferings and afflictions are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporal, but what is unseen is eternal.” Day after day we remember old hurts and experience new hardships which encourage us to see life from a human perspective—one focused only on further pain and suffering. Yet when we look at these experiences from

God’s viewpoint we will have a radical new perspective—turning our pasts upside down. Understanding suffering apart from the eternal significance it holds will leave us broken and devastated. But as we compare the weight of God’s glory—as we become more like Christ—with our momentary afflictions, our pasts take on unparalleled significance, for now they are seen and used for good.

A RADICAL NEW WAY OF LIVING:

“We must not only look at life’s hardships through the lens of Scripture, and God’s grace, but we must also live as though those same sufferings they are.”

~ Charles H. Spurgeon

  Accepting and believing this radical new way of looking at our past suffering achieves its logical/spiritual good as we are matured by it. So how should we respond to negative memories? Let the words of Paul instruct us again as he wrote to encourage his friends from the dark depths of his own captivity. “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all situations, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Now that we can look at life’s tribulations from an eternal perspective, our response can be wholly different. It still may seem extremely hard to invoke joy, prayer and thanksgiving in response to the afflictions we have suffered. Yet when we see these responses as spiritual utterances directed toward God our past would finally have true meaning. Our deepest pain will be tempered by the joy we find in Christ. Our haunting memories will be diminished through the prayers we cry aloud to God. And the bondage of our past will be destroyed as we give thanksgiving to the God of all comfort. This is the will of God—which He would be glorified and our painful pasts would be mortified.

  Let us now dwell on this, “Rejoice IN THE LORD always. I will say it again: REJOICE! Let your gentleness be evident to all. THE LORD IS NEAR! . . . in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God that passes all understanding [all our human viewpoints], will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”—The only KING who can “put us back together again!!”

 

In His service,

Peter Garich

“ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE”

By Peter Garich

 

“The reason we fight so hard in combat is not for our Nation’s leaders, or a particular political belief back home, or even our families. The reason we give our all in battle is because of the commitment and bond we have to each other. I would die for my guys

and I know they would die for me,” said one young Vet who had recently returned from the fighting in Iraq. To a man, the Vets being interviewed wanted to make this same point. Aging Vets from the Vietnam era echoed this same sentiment. One of them put it

this way: “The guys I fought with in country are my blood. Even to this day if one was to come up to me and ask me for something—even something that was impossible to do, like something I might lose my life over—I would do it without even thinking. It’s some

weird kind of stuff. I would still give my life for my buddies, even now, 40 years later, and that’s just something I can’t explain. We have this inner bond going on that’s deep.” [The preceding excerpts were taken from a recent PBS special on Vets returning

from war.]

Every one of us should listen carefully to the message from these Patriots. For them, relationships are worth giving your life over. As I listened to these men—who had literally put their lives on the line for each other—I thought of what their words and deeds should mean to us as Christians. As a Christian, I believe we were created for relationships. I believe it’s absolutely imperative that we all have steadfast and enduring relationships where we’re not only willing to die for each other, but willing to live for

each other as well. We need to be engaged in relationships where we encourage each other in an ongoing way—especially when life gets difficult. Our relationships should strive to reflect eternity because, as Christians, we will all be together in heaven one day. But just as important, we should be willing to minister to one another as we make the

difficult emotional and spiritual transitions here on earth—where we need someone to lean on. We can’t afford to go through life and its hardships as “Lone Ranger  Christians,” hoping that when things get tough the “tough” get going—which means doing it without anyone by our side. This is a fate worse than the most difficult struggles we all encounter within our earthly unions because we weren’t meant to go it alone. Neither can we afford to assume that our relationships are doing just fine—especially if we’re not putting into them the kind of quality time required for growth and maturity. Relationships need the utmost care and attention if they are to be godly.

  I was deeply affected by those Vets’ life-and-death commitment to each other. They shared a bond that most of us can only imagine, but we all desperately desire. And although the word “love” was not used to convey the nature of their bond, I’ll bet, just beneath those tough exteriors, it was definitely a sentiment they not only felt for each other but one they had shown many times—especially when they faced the horrors of war. It was impressive to see their personal commitment of love and the message it sent: “I will die for you.” This deeply held sentiment is not only admirable but also Biblical. Christian love is a commitment that says, “We will lay down our lives for each other” and then be willing to do it. It’s the love that Christ showed us and we are called to show each other. In all honesty, I don’t know if I could live up to the example of these soldiers who were willing to die for each other, or that of Christ, who died for us, but this commitment surely is at the heart of true Christian love.

   Last month I made the point that one of the most important insights I can pass along is that during times of distress and distraction we must focus on and foster our vertical relationship with God. This month I would like to explore another equally important truth—one that speaks to our horizontal relationships. Scripture tells us that God has not only called us to love Him with all our hearts, minds, bodies and souls, but to love one another in the same manner. The latter command given by Christ focuses on the horizontal relationships that we must actively establish in our lives—ones that, as I stated above, we are not only willing to die for, but to live for as well.

  The vertical relationship we share with our loving God and Savior is at the center of life itself. To minimize Him in this most vital relationship is to weaken us in every area of our lives—diminishing the absolute source of our existence. At the same time it was our Lord who said, “Love one another, even as I have loved you. For they will know you are my Disciples by your love for one another.” Therefore, it’s not only our love for God, and His for us, that builds godly character, but it’s the committed bond we build with one another. Beloved Pastor and author Andrew Murray wrote concerning our need for godly relationships, saying, “Our love of God is revealed by our everyday fellowship with one another and the love it displays.” It’s true that we have been chosen and called by God not only to commune with Him but also to fellowship with our Brothers and Sisters in Christ. God has set before us the deepest kind of joy, love and oneness in the relationships we share with our spouses, our children and all other believers. Just as the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are united in selfless union, so too should we be one with each other. Barriers such as fear that separated Adam and Eve should no longer hinder us. Christ died to make our relationships totally different.  In Christ, the barriers that separated us have been done away with (Eph. 2:13–16). And now it’s our selfishness that stands reluctant to seek the blessings of human intimacy. Theologian and author J. Oswald Chambers wrote concerning the inner opposition we experience when faced with our need for committed relationships saying, “The real enemy to the delight of intimacy that binds believer to believer . . . is not just general sin, but the sin that lies deep at the heart of the fall of man.  Individualism and self-reliance are the twin enemies that battle relentlessly against loving unity in the body of Christ.” The most insidious enemy we face in our attempt to build loving relationships (first those in the family of God and then all others) is love of self. In the great commandment Jesus teaches us that if we love the Lord with our whole being and love our neighbor as we love ourselves we will fulfill all God has commanded. Here in Christ’s magnificent summation of the Biblical mandate for life and love He gives us two commands—not three. Loving God and loving others is the extent of the Biblical charge, and NOT, as some today have stated, that we must first love ourselves before we can love anyone else. Make no mistake about it, the reason we do not have deep and abiding relationships with those people God has put in our lives is because we put our own self-interests, needs, desires and wants above the will of God.  As stated earlier, on the absolute necessity of having

committed and loving relationships, Jesus said, “Love one another, even as I have loved you. For they will know you are my Disciples by your love for one another.” To put love of self before love of God and others, or to believe or live in any fashion other than selfless, committed relationships is in complete contradiction to the Word of God. The Bible never tells us to build self, indulge self, nurture self or in any way to love self. In fact, Paul tells us that no man hates himself, but instead loves himself and takes care of himself. (Eph. 5:29) The truth is, in order to fulfill the commandment of love we are called to DIE TO SELF. It’s my belief that, “God is not attempting to nurture self, but to KILL it. He is not in the business of giving self a boost (for it has gone farther than it should), but instead His way is to crucify and bury it.” It’s my belief that the fleshly endeavor of loving self before loving God and others is one of focus and worship. The more we focus on self, the more we worship self! But the more we focus on Christ and worship God the more we die to self. It’s extremely important to understand that it’s within the biblical act of worshiping God and loving others that we see how love of self is unimportant and unbiblical. The KEY to godly relationships is found in focusing less on me and more on Him—and more on those I’m given by God to love. As our focus shifts from self to Christ and others, the more we will reflect the nature of the relationship between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit—giving them all glory and true worship.

  It’s absolutely true that I am my brother’s keeper, even if I don’t “feeeel” like it. This means God has given me the gift of building relationships that will foster encouragement, initiate communication, develop unity, sustain intimacy and grow in the grace of God. This is the life of biblically loving others in the same way that I already love myself. Jesus never loved being God more then loving His children. This was clearly evident in His final hours on earth.  And with His death before Him His full attention was focused on loving the ones His Father had given Him—and so He kneeled down and washed their feet. In principle and practice this is a great place for us to begin and finish—Loving each other as He loved us!

 

In His Service,

Peter Garich